Natalie's Story

Exercise is Medicine, but like all medicine it needs to be taken in appropriate doses.  Sometimes there can be too much of a good thing.  In a quest to achieve a particular body image, or by placing too much focus on the number on the scale some people spiral into disordered eating and exercise.  We are grateful Natalie has shared her story with us so that we may share it with you.  If you are struggling with disordered eating or exercise you can find help at the Calgary & Edmonton Eating Disorder Clinics. 

Natalie Shanahan’s Story

Exercise is medicine in so many ways. It has been my go to therapy in so many ways for so many years.  But like most things, too much of a good thing isn’t healthy either. My weight became an obsession and when I could no longer cut out any more calories, the best and easiest way to control it was exercise.

What was once a love for running and weight training became an obsession with spending time in the gym. No longer was it quality, but quantity focused. Yes I controlled my weight and became sickly thin, but what suffered was my ability to perform in races and events. Without proper fueling, and with over training I was chronically injured, and had no fuel in the tank. Exercise became a burden and a chore. Not only did my performance suffer, but so did my relationships. My only friend was the weights I lifted, and let me tell you, they aren’t very social or good at being there for you when things get tough. 

In time I was diagnosed with anorexia athletica. Yup, over exercising and restricting calories has a real name and is a real illness. It took years of treatment and counseling to begin to overcome. It is still a battle I fight! Why? Because I can’t give up my passion for running and sports, I can’t give up eating completely and you know what? It’s healthy not to give it up! It’s about learning balance,

self-confidence and self-acceptance. I had to re learn who I was and more importantly, that I was more than just a number on a scale. It took time to learn that people don’t value me or think any more or less of me because I weigh a certain amount. 

Over time I have had great success with my running. The past year as I prepped for running on Team Canada at the World 24 hour Championships I completely embraced eating and exercising. I learned that without proper fueling, I could not get my high level of training in. I developed a regiment of eating and fueling before, after and during my runs. I ensured I had days off from training to recover from my efforts and learned to listen to my body. The hard work and mental prep it took to eat and run paid off as I had a record setting run. 

Do I still struggle? All the time! But I value what my body can do with proper fueling and without over training. Am I as thin as I was when I over trained?Nope! But I’m a fitter, faster, stronger athlete now because I eat and fuel. I am also happier and healthier than I’ve ever been and my life is so much fuller now that I’ve learned balance. I still get to enjoy all the activities I love, but I also get to succeed at them.  Going to the gym and going for a run is no longer a chore or a burden I have to endure. I have the energy to enjoy them because I’ve learned to fuel myself properly. The stress of trying to be a certain size or shape has been lifted and I can simply enjoy my activities and life the way it is meant to be.

We have great resources available to those struggling. You aren’t alone and help is waiting for you. It is worth the hard work, the incredible ups and downs of recovery. I am living proof that recovery is worth it and life is better when you embrace exercise, eating and maintaining a healthy weight.